Dealing with painful memories

Steps to Deal with Painful Memories

There are practical and effective steps to overcome painful memories from the past, as follows:

• Write What Happened

Writing helps greatly in overcoming memories stored in long-term memory; write down what happened in full, then keep these memories in a safe place or tear them up or get rid of them in any way that comforts you, provided you do not read them again so they are not re-stored in the subconscious. You can also write short letters to yourself or to people related to these memories. Additionally, write down the lessons you learned from these memories and the mistakes made; this helps you deal with events clearly and transparently.

• Identify Your Feelings Toward the Event

Identifying and acknowledging the feelings you have at the moment toward a certain memory is very important to overcome it, such as feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, frustration, or any other; this is a gateway to accepting these feelings as they are without escaping them.

• Identify New Feelings to Replace the Old Ones

Search for a new feeling that changes your life; seek joy, happiness, comfort, and tranquility. To achieve this, engage in activities you enjoy, such as watching a movie, talking with a friend, or reading a book.

• Repeat New Positive Experiences

You should repeat the happy events attracted by your various activities; this helps to embed them in memory and store them instead of previous memories, thereby nurturing feelings of happiness and achievement.

• Try Not to Think About the Disturbing Memory

You must repeatedly try to expel thoughts of painful memories. This process requires extra effort and patience to overcome. When these memories and feelings overwhelm you, try clapping loudly to break out of the sad moment and immediately think only of happy moments.

• Draw a New Future

The final step in overcoming troubling past memories is to draw and imagine a new future using the Mind Movie technique. This means living in the feeling of today or the present moment but with a new future plan you wish for yourself, and reviewing it daily before sleep.

Tips for Dealing with Painful Memories

Here are some general tips to help you overcome painful past memories:

• Change the Way You Talk About the Past

Change the words you use when talking about unpleasant past experiences to more positive and optimistic words. For example, say “I have learned to be more aware” instead of “I was deceived,” and so on.

• Use Relaxation Techniques

Relaxation techniques help reduce stress and anxiety resulting from recalling past painful situations that cause pain and psychological pressure. Therefore, turn to deep breathing exercises, meditation, and mindfulness.

• Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle

A healthy lifestyle is a source of happiness and comfort, in addition to filling free time. For example, make sure to exercise regularly, sleep at consistent times, eat healthily, and avoid stimulants and alcohol as much as possible.