Self-talk may look like this:
– Rewriting the past (and pressuring myself in some way to fix my mistakes).
– Dwelling on worst-case scenarios (and pressuring myself to find ways to avoid them).
– Fighting my current reality (and pressuring myself to change it).
– Worrying about what I have to do (and pressuring myself to do it perfectly).
– Obsessing over what I should do (and pressuring myself to realize the full potential of what could be done).
– Focusing on what I cannot do right now (and pressuring myself to find ways around the limitations).
– Wishing I had more time for myself (and pressuring myself to somehow make that time).
– Judging myself in comparison to others (and pressuring myself to be better than before).
– Feeling hurt by what people think of me (and pressuring myself to meet their expectations).
If you have done any of these things to yourself, your inner self is most certainly feeling exhausted. This does not mean we are the sole cause of our stress. Life sometimes demands that we exert more effort and deal with external challenges beyond our control—such as losing a job, health problems, financial issues, or divorce…
While it is true that there are many small things we can do to reduce some stress, the first thing we must do is ease the pressure where it is usually most intense: inside our own minds.
Allow yourself to feel the impressions that preoccupy you so you can calm and release them. Through experience, we discover that beneath the different forms of inner resistance lie certain habits:
About the mistakes we have made, about who we are (when we mistakenly assume our bad choices define us), about expectations we have failed—or may fail—to meet. This stems from deep childhood wounds that led us to believe we are not okay. It is also when we rewrite the past, judge ourselves compared to others, and feel hurt about what people think of us.
Of the unknown, of failure, of success that was somehow destroyed, of losing control, of not doing enough to make the most of our time, of not living up to our potential, of hurting or disappointing others. Again, this results from childhood wounds that push you to believe you are not good enough and never will be. At such times, we dwell on worst-case scenarios, worry about what we must do, and obsess over what we should do.
Toward ourselves for what we think we have done wrong, toward others for what we believe they have done to us—often finding a way to blame ourselves—and toward life for being unfair. These resentments invade and anger us.
Because we are not connected to ourselves, to others, to the world at large, or to anything that satisfies us. At such times, we focus on what we cannot do now and wish we had more time. This allows us to overcome negative thoughts and identify the most joyful feelings to guide our path.
In those moments, you can face yourself and say: I can show compassion to myself and tell myself what I need to hear—that I am a good person who always does my best, and I will always do my best—to let go of burdens and move forward in life without fear, anger, or guilt.
For more, you can practice meditation on the Tawazon app. Today we recommend: Inner Strength Meditation, Negative Inner Dialogue Meditation, Me and Myself Meditation, and Inner Peace Meditations.
The app is available on Apple Store and Google Play.
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