Why do we complain and how do we get rid of this habit?

Why Do We Complain?

There are many reasons why some people tend to complain constantly. Here are the most prominent ones:

• Expressing Negative Emotions: People often resort to complaining as a way to express their negative thoughts and emotions, as a sign of dissatisfaction with life. It’s a form of emotional release to ease pain and anxiety, though the person may be unaware of the psychological harm it causes both to themselves and others.
• Personality Traits: Personality plays a significant role in the development of a complaining habit. Some people naturally appreciate themselves, while many others are habitually discontent and complain constantly.
• Mood: Bad moods sometimes lead to increased levels of complaining, which unfortunately worsens one’s mental state.
• Escaping Responsibility: Some people complain as a way of escaping responsibilities and lessening their burden.
• Social Contagion: Spending time with someone who constantly complains may push you to start finding reasons to complain in your own life.

The Psychological Harm of Complaining

Now that you know the possible reasons behind the question “Why do we complain?” it’s important to highlight the psychological impact of habitual complaining. It’s normal to occasionally share your sorrows and problems with yourself or others. However, when this habit becomes excessive, it can be mentally exhausting and harmful. It increases stress and anxiety hormones, and after each complaint, you may feel more frustrated and hopeless, resulting in a worse and weaker mood.
Negative thinking through constant complaining causes you to focus more on problems. Instead of seeking solutions and moving beyond your issues, you dwell on them. This intensifies negativity and attracts worse outcomes through your repeated and unjustified complaints.

How to Break the Habit of Complaining

Here are some practical tips to help you stop the habit of complaining:

• Meditation Practice

Meditation is a highly effective practice for reducing anxiety, stress, and the pressures of daily life. It enhances self-awareness and helps you regulate emotions more efficiently. It also boosts gratitude and appreciation for everything you have, no matter how small. I recommend downloading the Tawazon App, which offers a wonderful collection of psychological support from specialists and experts in meditation and mindfulness.

• Social Support

Make sure to surround yourself with positive, optimistic people. Talk to them about their feelings and how they view themselves despite going through pain or failure at times. They still achieve and enjoy life. Share your thoughts with them to identify and improve your weak points in ways that benefit you.

• Constructive Complaining

Learn how to complain constructively if you must. Complaining can be like magic for your soul—it bridges the gap between reality and expectation. Let your expectations be a path toward improving your reality and an opportunity to make the necessary changes. It’s wise to frame your complaint between two positive statements to reduce its negative impact and focus on the positive side.