It’s human nature to make mistakes and feel guilt or frustration from time to time. When we mess up, our inner dialogue often becomes critical and harsh—this is normal in small doses. But when negative self-talk becomes constant and starts affecting how we think, live, and interact with others, it becomes harmful and needs to be managed. So, how can you change your negative thinking?
Ask yourself: would I say these same things to a close friend? Likely not. So be kind and respectful to yourself, just as you would be to someone you deeply care about.
You might think the solution is to force positive thinking—but that can feel unnatural at first. Instead, aim for neutral thinking. You don’t need to compliment yourself, just think realistically and fairly.
For example, instead of saying “I failed the test; I’m terrible and will always fail,” try saying, “I’m disappointed, but I’ll try again and learn from this.” That’s how you start replacing negative thoughts with more balanced ones.
Repetition helps form new habits. Repeating balanced or neutral thoughts regularly can help replace negative ones. Write positive or neutral thoughts on cards and read them aloud daily—it can help reset your inner voice.
There’s a big difference between holding yourself accountable and being mean to yourself. Constant self-criticism won’t make you grow—it will only drain your energy and increase frustration.
Start rephrasing your thoughts with practice and self-compassion. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes—and we all have the chance to get back up and do better.
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